Friday, July 12, 2013


I've been seeing all of my favorite foods in over abundant quantities lately. Another reason I must leave.

I absolutely love eggplant before it's become eggplant parmesan (thin sliced and dipped in just egg and breadcrumbs, fried) with a little ranch dressing.

Italian mothers will love you to death. Spanish stepfathers will passive-aggressive attack such as waiting until you are two hours into a deep sleep and turning on one of three televisions in the house at maximum volume two feet away from your head.

I've been in a tired funk all day with one exception. The wiring on my Jimmy is complete. Everything is working as desired. I have one appointment on July 25th before I blow this town.

I talked to my brother-in-law this afternoon and his first comment was "when are you coming to visit?" I told him probably in about three months. I plan a very slow migration. I do not want to arrive at family broke. I must have some savings first. I may stay a week, but no longer. Then I will probably head north. I've never seen much of Oregon accept to pass through and would like to take it a bit more leisurely this time. I have a good friend in Washington I haven't seen in over a decade and may stop by my old employer as well.

My brother-in-law and I also talked about my stepson that visited him a week or two ago. I got a text message that he will be calling me anytime now. They had a 3 hour visit and I got some answers regarding their discussion. It was encouraging to me but will never make a dent in my ex-wife. I've learned I can only plant seeds with her. She doesn't like her son's wife who seems a decent girl to me and nothing I say will likely change that.

My son wants to work with his hands, perhaps as a mechanic. My ex wants him to pursue more scholarly interests that he is perfectly capable of but not interested in. Only time will prove out.

Just got off the phone with my stepson Sasha (Alex to everybody else but still Sasha to me.) He hasn't changed, except perhaps a bit more mature at 23. It seems he got married Feb 9th. I'd heard, but that didn't stop me from putting him in the hot seat ("So why didn't I hear from you?" You do realize that was your mom's anniversary with me?"  Actually a few days different, but close enough. Etc.) Anyway, I told him not to be such a stranger with my sister and her husband and to bring his wife by for them to meet. Also, my brother-in-law's birthday is around thanksgiving and I expect both of them to attend. Which suggest I should plan to be around during that time as well. My ex is planning 3 weeks with her folks in the Ukraine in August but I'm sure she will have plenty of vacation for a day in November.

Update: I sent an email to my ex regarding my plans. She is in a panic. Oh well. Not much I can do about that. I'd hate to cut her out of my plans but that will happen if she continues to be herself (not much chance of anything else, is there?) I will succeed or fail, but my life is my responsibility.

Just got off the phone with my ex. We did not discuss my plans at all. It was all about her relationship with her now married son who did not celebrate mothers day or her birthday this year. She said she is the most important person in her son's life. I had to correct her because her son is married. She is not happy with me for pointing this out and certainly doesn't agree with me. He has cut the apron strings but she continues to hold fast to her end. She does not understand that she is the one isolating herself. She just will not accept any perspective that is not her own. It is not his life and his responsibility, it is hers and everyone should not argue this point. So the conversation ends.

Sasha certainly does tell people what he thinks they want to hear. This is not something unusual for this generation. But he does understand that he is responsible for his own life and now his wife and is working hard, making mistakes and taking that responsibility. He is leagues ahead of many young men his age (or some twice his age.) It's hard to understand how his mother doesn't understand this. She is simply hurt that she is not the center of his world.

People are nuts. This is one reason my choice to hit the road isn't. I don't care who disagrees. My life. My responsibility. My results. I look forward to many nights of peaceful rest. It's been a long time coming.

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